Marist Brothers Darlinghurst OBU - Humour
The best medicine ~ laughter
Paraprosdokians
are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase
is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.
1. Where
there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing
I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light
travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them
speak.
4. If I agreed
with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never
really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not
determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is
knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas
from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say
it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling
out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify... " I
answered " a doctor."
11. Women will
never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald
head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not
need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be
indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
14. To be sure of
hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to
church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage
makes you a car.
16. You're never
too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed
to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find
one now.
Sadly this is
true!!! So.....