Marist Brothers Darlinghurst OBU - Humour

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sent in by Peter Deriman (Class of '62):

FIRST  QUESTION:
YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE
THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?
~~~~~~~~        ~~~~~~~~~~
SECOND  QUESTION:
IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE....?

THIRD  QUESTION:

MARY'S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS:
1.  NANA,  2.  NENE,  3.  NINI,   4. NONO,   AND ???

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER? 

 

FOURTH  QUESTION:
VERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC! NOTE:
THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.
DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR. TRY IT.

     

TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30.
ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 .. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000.
NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?

ANSWERS:
FIRST ANSWER
 : IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE
SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!

SECOND ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE..... WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??
YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU?

 

THIRD ANSWER: DID YOU ANSWER NUNU?

NO! OF COURSE IT ISN'T. HER NAME IS MARY! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN!

     

FOURTH QUESTION Ė ANSWER: DID YOU        GET 5000?

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100. CHECK IT WITH A CALCULATOR!
TODAY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAY, IS IT? 

MAYBE YOU'LL GET THE BONUS QUESTION        RIGHT.... MAYBE...
I.E., A FINAL CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF:
A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH.
BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE SUCCESSFULLY

EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS DONE.
NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A
PAIR OF SUNGLASSES; HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?



IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE
HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT...

DIDNíT GET TOO MANY? WELL, THATíS OK, DONíT FRET; PROBABLY TIME TO LIE DOWN AND TAKE A NAP.     

~~~~~~~~~~